How to Survive in a Horror Movie

How to Survive in a Horror Movie

How many horror movies have you seen where the characters decide to do something rash or just plain crazy, only to later regret it terribly? Let us learn from their mistakes so that if it happens to us, we will be ready.

How to avoid being trapped in a horror movie:

  1. Do not move into a house that is “rumored” to be haunted or has a history of violence. In horror movies, the newlywed couple always disregards these as “just rumors.” But of course, it wouldn’t be a horror movie if that was true.
  2. Do not go on that week long vacation if the destination is an abandoned log cabin or island that is more than ten miles away from civilization. If you are not going to be able to get help quickly if something bad is going to happen, then do not be surprised when the authorities say that nobody will be able to get to you.
  3. Have a good cell phone plan and coverage. Few things are worse than having a killer trying to find you and your phone does not work because you are out of minutes.
  4. Do not mess with “possessed” objects, games, movies or anything really. Nothing good has ever come about in a horror movie from inviting spirits or demons into your life.

How to survive a horror movie if stuck in one:

  1. Avoid the cliches. If you are in a horror movie, and you remember people doing things in other horror movies that consistently turned out to be terrible ideas, then do not do that.
  2. Be the main character. You might have post traumatic stress disorder for the rest of your life, but chances are higher of you surviving longer if you are the main character of the story. Tell everyone your background story; try to get people to like you. At the very least, if it comes down to someone having to be sacrificed to stop the killer, try to be the one nobody considers because they like you.
  3. Carry around a sharp but fairly inconspicuous weapon. Scissors are preferable. Sharp things are awfully handy when you are being dragged by your hair, a rope or something that could be cut if only you had something sharp.
  4. Never split up from the group. There is strength and safety in numbers.

Have a trustworthy group of friends. Most horror movie victims are killed because they do not trust someone in their group or because they cannot stand somebody and leave the group.

[author image=”” ]Byron Crouch, Staff Contributor <br> Byron is a computer science major. He likes puzzles, reading and writing fiction. His favorite movie is Princess Bride or Tron. [/author]