A Talk with Water Assassins
Photo courtesy of Mady Martin

A Talk with Water Assassins

It’s that time of year once again; school has begun, paranoia settles in and the water pistols fly! I am of course talking about nothing other than Wet Bandits, the classic assassin water game. Every year students draw names of other students and begin to hunt them down; the only problem is that you have no idea who has your name or when they could strike. Lucky for you, I have interviewed some of the best water assassins ever to play on this campus, and they have the tips on how to survive this week.

“There is no such thing as too hardcore,” said Joseph Blissett, Master Water Assassin and senior here at SNU. “You can wait outside someone’s building for hours… get up at seven in the morning and wait outside their dorm. They have to go to class some time.”

Joseph won second place in Wet Bandits both his freshman and sophomore years here at Southern Nazarene University, which is an amazing accomplishment. I asked him what advice he would give to the freshmen who have never played Wet Bandits before.

“Don’t ask juniors and seniors who someone is,” said Blissett. “They will be on their (the other person’s) side and not yours.”

When I asked Joseph what his best tip for avoiding assassination is, he replied, “Well what I would always do is, whenever I would exit a building, I would just start running in a straight line away from campus…people will find you…so you’ve just got to get away, and then you can figure out how to get back.”

Another Master Water Assassin I caught up with was sophomore Samantha Smith, otherwise known as “The Ninja,” and the all-time champ of Wet Bandits 2014. I asked Samantha what her top three tips for water combat survival are.

“Trust no one…you never know, even your best friends,” said Smith. “It’s all up to chance, and they could have your name. Be suspicious of everyone. Check your surroundings [and] see if anyone is looking at you or following you.”

Samantha’s final tip was what we all can accredit to her victory in last year’s competition.

“Take it for real. This isn’t a game; it’s real life. And you will die if you do not succeed.”

So in conclusion, trust no one, always be watching your surroundings, go way over the top and do not take this game lightly.

About The Author

Marshall Jones, Staff Contributor.
Marshall was born in the great city of Houston, Texas. Currently Marshall is a sophomore at Southern Nazarene University, studying Mass Communication. Marshall has a love for all things bluegrass, coffee, and outdoors.

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