Being single in college is never easy—particularly when you go to a private Christian university like SNU. But never fear, ladies! I’m here to give you some rules (or guidelines) to follow in order to enjoy being single until you find your knight-in-shining armor.
Rule #1: Don’t try to look nice. Forget about makeup or doing your hair. Wear sweats all the time. If you don’t spend at least an hour on your beauty regimen every morning, guys won’t chase you. You can enjoy comfy clothes without the worry of your man thinking you look bad, and thus you will be less stressed. Every now and then, there will be that stubborn guy who will flirt with you even in your oldest pair of sweats. If you find that guy, he might be the one.
Rule #2: Sing as loud as possible in chapel. It doesn’t matter whether you can sing or not. The guys sitting next to you might judge you by your obnoxious singing voice, but you’re praising the Lord, right? As a single girl, you should be confident in your faults; this will help other girls realize that you don’t need a man to survive college.
Rule #3: Eat chocolate—but only if you’re not lactose intolerant. Chocolate is a remedy from God, especially when you’re stressed about homework and the attractive football player (or musician) that you’re crushing on has been ignoring you for the past two days.
Rule #4: Be crazy. Take midnight runs to Wal-Mart with a couple of friends. Stay up all night watching your favorite television show or movie. Cover your roommate’s desk with sticky notes saying random things. Yes, you can do all these things when you’re in a relationship, but you have more time to do them when you’re not in one. And people will dismiss your craziness more readily if you’re single.
Rule #5: Love people. Go hug a random person. Yell “Hi!” in the loudest voice you can muster when you see one of your friends. Walk around saying, “I love you” to complete strangers. True, most guys will think you’ve gone off the deep end, but if they don’t enjoy your displays of affection, they are not really worth it.
Now, don’t get me wrong; I totally and fully support relationships and marriage. I also completely understand what it’s like to hate being single. Contrary to popular belief, however, most schools are not familiar with the term “MRS” degree or “ring by spring.” So just be your single self—whether you’re a crazy cat lady, fantasy-obsessed bookworm, tomboy athlete, mad musician or the all-around preppy girl. Because if a guy likes your single self, chances are he’ll like you when you’re in a relationship with him.
Author’s Note: The majority of this advice should not be taken seriously. This article was purely for the entertainment of the reader.